Habits…The Invisible Architecture of Life

Gretchen Rubin wrote in her book Better than Before: “How do we change? One answer—by using habits.” However, according to a study by the University of Scranton, just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals, which are often about instilling habit change! As an example, many clients tell me at just this time of year: “Liz, I’m going to use those lotions and potions every morning and every night.” And then, just a few months later, I find they don’t need replacement product because they haven’t been using it! Let’s look at a few strategies for creating habit change that sticks. 

THERE IS ONLY  “NOW-YOU” 

The first step in anything is always difficult. There is a cost to it: energy, money, opportunity. But if it’s important to you, you must BEGIN NOW. As Mel Robbins says, “There will literally always be an excuse not to do it.” Magical thinking is saying: “It will be easier tomorrow…next week… sometime in the future”. There is no “Future-you” who will spontaneously start a good new habit! Avoid the Scarlett O’Hara-“I’ll think about it tomorrow”-syndrome. There is only “Now-you”. Think about one step that you can do right NOW to get your desired habit going. Here are 2 examples for wanting to start a great skincare routine: 

• Get out all your lotions and potions and throw away anything past its expired date and that you do not use.  

OR

• Look in the mirror and decide the #1 issue that is bothering you about your skin. (That gives you direction on what to focus on changing.)

MONITORING – KEEP THE STREAK GOING 

Perhaps it’s our current love story with data, but many personality types respond well to monitoring a habit change. Measuring your progress is a terrific way to build confidence in your ability to change, and often, with success, people don’t want to break “a streak”. There are a ton of apps for monitoring, as well as paper based “habit trackers” available. I love HABIT (in the Apple app store), to measure / monitor habits I want to instill. 

STRATEGY OF CLARITY 

To meet expectations, know clearly what is expected. That seems simple enough right? However, habit change success hinges on knowing exactly what the expectations are. Using our skincare routine example again, it’s not enough to say “I am going to implement a skincare routine this year.” You will be much more successful if you think about how you are willing to commit to taking care of your skin. For example, how much time (5 mins? 10 mins?)…how much money ($5 a day? $10 a day?)…when (AM and PM?)…where (Home? Gym? Travel? All?). Knowing the answers to these questions provides clarity for this habit. Now your resolution can look something like: ”I am going to perform a skincare routine that takes 5 mins in the morning and at night at least 5 days a week.“  

PAIRING

One strategy that I LOVE and implement all the time with my skincare routine is that of pairing. This is when you pair an activity you like to do with something you must do. In our example, you could pair a skincare routine with watching your favorite nighttime TV show. “I can’t watch The Crown until I complete my skincare steps.” Or “I can’t get my morning cup of coffee, until I complete my AM routine.” You can even go smaller here. I use a lash serum to make my lashes longer and darker-looking, which I apply every AM and PM. I pair that habit with brushing my teeth, which is thoroughly ingrained. So I have my tube of lash serum by my toothbrush and I know that I can’t brush my teeth, till I’ve swiped the serum on! 

STRATEGY OF IDENTITY – FOR THE REBEL 

Some people have a very difficult time with habit strategies suggested by other people because they feel like they are being told to do something, and then become resistant and rebel (my husband will recognize himself here). A good strategy for a “rebel” is that of Identity, meaning people who place value on being true to themselves can embrace a habit, if it expresses their identity. “I take care of my skin because I respect my body.” Are you someone who takes care of themselves and respects yourself enough to take care of your body’s largest organ? 

These are just a few of the habit changing strategies that I have used to help me keep with a daily skincare routine, and for many other habits that I have wanted to instill, from daily meditation, to using my hot-tub 5 times a week. Hopefully, they might work for you in 2020 and you will become part of that 8%! Happy New Year!